It’s Friday, and I have a lot to prepare for things happening this weekend. I am anxious. I just remembered to take my tyrosine, St John’s Wort, and 5-HTP. I have not been terribly consistent lately, unfortunately.
I think anxiety keeps me back from a lot of things. I wonder if I have anxiety from trying to be something I am not: maybe I am trying to be a super efficient action-oriented machine when my real self is slow and steady? When does pushing yourself to improve actually turn into not being yourself and/or expecting too much?
I wonder why I get anxious when I feel I have many things on my plate? For that matter, why do I constantly think I have too much on my plate? I think I have a tendency to get frustrated when I can’t accomplish what I set out to do in the time I try to do it. Modern life is so fast-paced, and I feel I am having a hard time keeping up (Jack Johnson’s song Breakdown comes to mind right now). With the faster pace, it’s no wonder mental illness is consistently on the rise.
Anyway. Writing has been therapeutic, although the slight tightness in the chest comes right back again when I think of what I have to do today. I am glad I got this posted at least. That’s an accomplishment to pat myself on the back for!